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What is a mediation hearing (court-ordered mediation)?

Updated Oct 8, 2026 5 min readFact-checked against primary sources 2026-10-08Editorial policy

Illustration: two people and a mediator at a table, with a mediation notice and a calendar date

Court-ordered mediation is a meeting a judge requires you to attend, where a neutral mediator helps both sides try to settle some or all of the case. Despite the common name, a "mediation hearing" is not a hearing before a judge. The judge isn't there, the mediator can't decide anything, and you don't have to settle. But you usually do have to show up and take part.

This is general information, not legal advice. Rules vary by state, and many courts add their own local rules. See how mediation works in your state →

It's not a hearing before a judge

At a court hearing, a judge listens to both sides and makes rulings. Mediation is different. The mediator's job is to help you negotiate, not to decide. Texas law, for example, says a mediator "may not impose his own judgment on the issues for that of the parties."1

The judge also usually doesn't learn what was said. Courts commonly limit what the mediator reports. In Idaho family cases, for example, the mediator reports to the court "without comment or observation" whether the parties reached an agreement, are at an impasse, or one of them didn't attend.2 Many states also protect what is said in mediation from being used later in court, with exceptions. Ask the mediator what the rules are in your case.

Why courts order mediation

Courts across the country send cases to mediation. Federal law requires each U.S. district court to have litigants in civil cases consider using a dispute resolution process at an appropriate stage, and to offer at least one, such as mediation.3 A federal court that chooses to require dispute resolution in certain cases may require mediation; arbitration can be required only if the parties consent.3

State courts set their own rules. Some states require mediation for certain disputes, such as contested parenting issues. Others let the judge decide case by case. As an example, Texas law lets a court, on its own motion or a party's motion, refer a pending dispute to a dispute resolution procedure, including mediation.4

What the court's order tells you

The judge's order (often called a referral order or order of referral) is your roadmap. Read it closely for:

  • Which issues are being sent to mediation: the whole case or only part of it.
  • Deadlines to choose a mediator, hold the first session, or finish.
  • How to choose the mediator. Many courts let the parties agree on one, and appoint one if they can't. In Idaho family cases, for example, the parties have 28 days to choose; if they don't, the court must appoint a mediator from the Idaho Supreme Court's roster.2 See how to find and choose a mediator.
  • Who must attend, such as each party, their lawyers, or someone with authority to settle (like an insurance representative).
  • Fees, including whether a court program provides the mediator and how costs are split. See divorce mediation cost.
  • Format: in person, by video, or a mix. See online mediation.

Important

Don't ignore a mediation order. Courts can impose consequences, such as fees or costs, on a party who fails to attend without a good reason. If you can't make the date, contact the court, the mediator, or your lawyer right away.

Asking to skip, delay, or change the format

You may be able to object. Rules differ, but common grounds include safety concerns, a prior mediation of the same issues, or other good cause. Two Texas examples:

  • General civil cases. A party may file a written objection within 10 days after being notified of the referral. If the court finds a reasonable basis for the objection, it may not refer the dispute.4
  • Divorce cases with family violence. A spouse may file a written objection based on family violence. If the case is still sent to mediation, the order must provide that the parties won't have face-to-face contact and will be placed in separate rooms.5

If there has been abuse or you are afraid, tell the court before mediation. See when divorce mediation is not recommended.

What happens at the session

Every mediator runs things a little differently, but court-ordered sessions usually follow this pattern:

Step 1: Opening

The mediator explains the process, their role, what is confidential, and the ground rules.

Step 2: Each side explains

Everyone has a chance to describe the issues and what matters to them.

Step 3: Private meetings

The mediator often meets with each side separately (a "caucus") to explore options and test proposals.

Step 4: Negotiation and wrap-up

Proposals go back and forth until you reach terms you both accept, or it's clear you can't. Any agreement is put in writing.

How it ends

  • Full agreement. The agreement is written down and signed. Depending on your state and the type of case, it may need to be filed with the court or approved by a judge. See is mediation legally binding?
  • Partial agreement. You settle some issues and leave the rest for the judge.
  • No agreement (impasse). The mediator tells the court there was no agreement, and the case goes on. See what happens if mediation fails.

How to prepare

Bring the court order, key documents, and a list of your priorities. If you have a lawyer, plan how you will talk privately during the session. Our guide on how to prepare for divorce mediation has a checklist that works for most cases.

For the rules in your state, find your state's page. We have state guides for Florida, Texas, and Idaho. When you're ready, get matched with a mediator.

This is general information, not legal advice.

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Frequently asked questions

Is a mediation hearing in front of a judge?

No. The judge isn't there. A mediator runs the meeting and has no power to decide your case. In many courts, the mediator reports only whether you reached an agreement, without comment.

Do I have to settle at court-ordered mediation?

No. A court can require you to attend, but the decision to settle is yours. If you don't agree, your case goes on in court.

What happens if I don't show up?

Courts can impose consequences for missing court-ordered mediation without a good reason, such as paying fees or costs. The rules depend on your state and your court, so read your order and call the court or your lawyer if you can't attend.

Can I ask the court to skip mediation?

Often, yes. Many states let a party object or ask to be excused, for example because of domestic violence. Texas, for example, lets a party file a written objection within 10 days of being notified of a referral. Check your state's rules and your order's deadlines.

Who picks the mediator?

It depends on the court. Many courts let the parties agree on a mediator within a set time, and appoint one if they don't. In Idaho family cases, for example, the parties have 28 days to choose before the court appoints one from its roster.

Sources

  1. Tex. Civ. Prac. & Rem. Code § 154.023(b) (2025), Mediation — https://statutes.capitol.texas.gov/Docs/CP/htm/CP.154.htm#154.023 ↩

  2. Idaho Rules of Family Law Procedure, Rule 602(e), (i) (amended eff. Jan. 1, 2026) — https://isc.idaho.gov/rules-procedure/irfl#rule-602 ↩ ↩2

  3. 28 U.S.C. § 652(a) (2024 ed.), Jurisdiction — https://www.govinfo.gov/content/pkg/USCODE-2024-title28/html/USCODE-2024-title28-partIII-chap44-sec652.htm ↩ ↩2

  4. Tex. Civ. Prac. & Rem. Code §§ 154.021(a), 154.022(b)–(c) (2025) — https://statutes.capitol.texas.gov/Docs/CP/htm/CP.154.htm#154.021 ↩ ↩2

  5. Tex. Fam. Code § 6.602(d) (2025), Mediation Procedures — https://statutes.capitol.texas.gov/Docs/FA/htm/FA.6.htm#6.602 ↩

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