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What is a mediator, and what does a mediator do?

Updated Oct 8, 2026 6 min readFact-checked against primary sources 2026-10-08Editorial policy

Illustration: a mediator between two people, with two overlapping circles showing their common ground
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A mediator is a neutral person who helps people in a dispute talk, sort out the issues, and look for an agreement they can both accept. The mediator does not take sides, does not decide who is right, and does not give either side legal advice. Many mediators are lawyers, but many are not.

What a mediator needs in training and credentials depends on your state and on whether a court is involved.

This is general information, not legal advice. Rules vary by state. See how mediation works in your state →

What does a mediator do?

A mediator runs the process, not the outcome. They explain how mediation works, set an agenda with you, keep the conversation productive, meet with each side separately when that helps, help you test options, and make sure any deal is written down. The people in the dispute make every decision.

Official descriptions of the job line up closely. The EEOC says mediation is an informal process "in which a trained mediator assists the parties to reach a negotiated resolution," and that the mediator "helps the parties to jointly explore and reconcile their differences."1 Idaho's family court rules describe the mediator's role as helping the parties identify issues, reduce misunderstandings, clarify priorities, explore areas of compromise, and find points of agreement.2

In practice, a mediator usually:

  • Explains the process at the start, including the mediator's role, what is private, and how the day will run.
  • Sets an agenda with you: the issues to settle and the order to take them in.
  • Keeps the conversation productive, so each side can be heard and the talk stays on the issues.
  • Meets with each side separately when that helps. This private meeting is often called a "caucus."
  • Helps you test options, for example by asking how a proposed schedule or payment plan would work in real life.
  • Makes sure any deal is written down so everyone knows what was agreed.

What doesn't a mediator do?

A mediator doesn't decide your case, take sides, give either of you legal advice, or push you into a deal. Those limits are what make mediation different from going to a judge or hiring your own lawyer. If a mediator seems to cross one of these lines, say so, ask for a break, or stop the session.

  • Decide the case. A mediator has no authority to impose a settlement.1 Texas law says a mediator "may not impose his own judgment on the issues for that of the parties."3
  • Take sides. A mediator must stay neutral. The EEOC describes its mediators as "neutral unbiased professionals with no stake in the outcome."1
  • Give legal advice. A mediator can't tell you what is best for you legally. Idaho's family rule, for example, tells mediators to advise the parties to get independent legal advice before resolving issues and when putting an agreement in final form.2
  • Pressure you into a deal. Settling is your choice. If you feel pressured or unsafe, say so, ask for a break, or stop.

Tip

A mediator can share general information and help you think through options, but only your own lawyer can tell you how an agreement affects your legal rights. If the stakes are high, have a lawyer review the agreement before you sign. See do I need a lawyer for divorce mediation?

Is a mediator a lawyer?

Sometimes, but not necessarily. Many mediators are lawyers, but the state rules we have checked for court-connected mediators set training or education requirements rather than requiring a law degree. When a lawyer does mediate, they act as a neutral for everyone at the table and don't represent anyone. Our divorce mediation attorneys pages list mediators whose official roster shows a law background.

Whether a mediator must have a certain background depends on where and how they mediate:

  • Court-connected mediation. Many states set training, education, or experience rules for mediators who serve in court cases, and many courts keep their own lists. For example, Texas requires at least 40 classroom hours of dispute resolution training for court-appointed mediators, plus 24 more hours for cases about the parent-child relationship.4 Federal district courts must set their own criteria for choosing neutrals, and federal law says each neutral should be qualified and trained, drawing on magistrate judges, professional neutrals from the private sector, and others trained as neutrals.5
  • Private mediation. Rules like these are usually written for mediators who serve court cases. When you hire a mediator on your own, outside a court order, they may not apply, which makes it more important to ask about training and experience.

Florida, Texas, and Idaho handle mediator qualifications in different ways; see our Florida, Texas, and Idaho guides for details. For whether certification matters in your situation, see do I need a mediator certified in my state?

How is a lawyer-mediator different from your own lawyer?

When a lawyer serves as your mediator, they are not your lawyer. Your own lawyer works for you, argues for your interests, and tells you what to do. A lawyer-mediator works for neither side, stays neutral, and can't advise you, even though they know the law. You can have both: a mediator and your own lawyer.

  • Who they work for. Your own lawyer represents you and argues for your interests. A mediator represents neither side.
  • Advice. Your lawyer can tell you what to do. A mediator, even one with a law license, stays neutral and doesn't advise either party.
  • Conflicts of interest. A mediator should tell you about any past or present connection to either side or their lawyers. If something makes you question their neutrality, ask about it before you start.

You can usually bring your own lawyer. The EEOC says a lawyer isn't necessary in its program, but either party may bring one, and the mediator decides what role the lawyer will play in the session.1 Court rules on who must attend, and whether lawyers attend, vary by state and type of case.

Important

Be careful with anyone who calls themselves a "mediator" but works for one side, such as a caller from a "mediation department" asking you to pay a debt. A real mediator is neutral. See why is a "mediation department" calling me?

How do I check a mediator's credentials?

Look the mediator up on the official roster for your state or court, if there is one, and ask them directly about their training, the cases they handle, and how they charge. Every MediationList listing links to the official roster it came from, so you can check the source yourself.

  • Court rosters. If your state certifies or lists mediators for court cases, its court system often publishes the list. Each MediationList listing links to the official roster it came from.
  • Ask directly. Ask about training, the types of cases they handle, how they charge, and how they handle safety concerns. Our guides on how to find and choose a mediator and questions to ask a divorce mediator have full lists of questions.

Browse the mediator directory, find a mediator near you, or get matched.

This is general information, not legal advice.

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Frequently asked questions

Does a mediator decide who is right?

No. The mediator helps you reach your own agreement and has no power to impose a result. The decision to settle, and on what terms, stays with the parties.

Do mediators have to be lawyers?

Usually not. Many states let non-lawyers serve as mediators, including in court-connected cases, if they meet training or education rules. Some court programs or case types have extra requirements, so check your state's page.

Can a mediator give me legal advice?

No. A mediator is neutral and doesn't advise either side. If you need to know how an agreement could affect your rights, talk with your own lawyer before you sign.

If my mediator is a lawyer, are they my lawyer?

No. A mediator represents neither side. A lawyer acting as a mediator is a neutral, not your advocate.

Can I bring my own lawyer to mediation?

In most mediations, yes. The EEOC, for example, says either party may bring an attorney, although one isn't required. Court rules on who must attend vary by state.

Sources

  1. U.S. Equal Employment Opportunity Commission, Questions and Answers About Mediation — https://www.eeoc.gov/questions-and-answers-about-mediation ↩ ↩2 ↩3 ↩4

  2. Idaho Rules of Family Law Procedure, Rule 602(a), (h) (amended eff. Jan. 1, 2026) — https://isc.idaho.gov/rules-procedure/irfl#rule-602 ↩ ↩2

  3. Tex. Civ. Prac. & Rem. Code § 154.023(b) (2025), Mediation — https://statutes.capitol.texas.gov/Docs/CP/htm/CP.154.htm#154.023 ↩

  4. Tex. Civ. Prac. & Rem. Code § 154.052 (2025), Qualification of Impartial Third Party — https://statutes.capitol.texas.gov/Docs/CP/htm/CP.154.htm#154.052 ↩

  5. 28 U.S.C. § 653 (2024 ed.), Neutrals — https://www.govinfo.gov/content/pkg/USCODE-2024-title28/html/USCODE-2024-title28-partIII-chap44-sec653.htm ↩

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